The Dirty Mistress
by XxStephXx
Summary: James is stuck in a loveless marriage, Lily is his mistress. Can James finally leave his wife and lose his family and face the wrath of his mother who makes Voldemort look like a cuddly bunny.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

When he ran into people from school he hadn't seen in awhile, they all asked him the same thing. What happened? At school everything had been so simple: he had a girlfriend he loved more than life itself, and he had the best friends he could ask for. His life was great. But now, his life hadn't turned out the way anyone, including him, had thought it would.

James' dad died shortly after he had graduated and everything had changed since that day. James had never really gotten along with his mother. She liked the family money, and he even sometimes thought that that was the only reason she had married his dad and had him. She was a social climber and all-round, cold-hearted bitch. Over the years he had grown to hate her. She manipulated every situation to suit her and to control others. After David Potter died, there was nobody to stop her controlling their son's life. Claudia Potter had arranged for the girlfriend her son loved so much to be forced out of healer school in this country and sent her to South America. She drove away his best friends: the werewolf and the bad influence.

Then she pulled the masterstroke that made James despise her even more. She trained Margo Bones to be his girlfriend. She had people watch James to see what he liked and what he was looking for in a girl. She instructed Margo on what to wear and how to be. Then she started planning the wedding. James had had no say in whether he wanted to get married. His mother was too interested in merging two of richest wizarding families together to care about her son's happiness.

And so that is how to came to be unhappily married to a younger but just as nasty version of his mother. He only had friends that they chose, he only did the things they approved of. He had no say in anything and eventually he had stopped fighting it.

But then he had been somewhat saved. Three years into his sham of a marriage, Lily Evans walked back into his life. It had been a total coincidence, he had been at the hospital visiting a family friend (on his wife's instructions) and Lily had been the healer. Everything he had ever felt for her was still there. And by some miracle she had felt the same. It had taken a long, long time for her to give in to her feelings for her. But she did. They had been having an affair for 6 months now.

--------------------------------------------

It was four in the morning when James' watch alarm went off like it always did. He rolled over and kissed the top of Lily's head before getting up. He spent as many nights as he could at Lily's flat.

Margo knew he was having an affair, she had to know. She had to notice that he never came home from work unless they had a family function or social event. She had to notice that he came in every morning a few hours before she woke up. And she had to notice that he had no interest in starting a family with her. But she never said a word, she just smiled, ironed his shirts and pretended nothing was wrong. She, like his mother, loved the family money too much to leave.

James sat up and reached out for his clothes.

"James…" Lily mumbled, he must have woken her.

"Go back to sleep and I'll see you later," he whispered to her.

"You're leaving," she said sadly.

"Yeah I have to get back," he said, stroking the top of her head where she lay.

"Do you really have to? Can't you stay, just for once?"

"I can't," sighed James. "You know I can't."

"Fine," said Lily as she threw the covers off her, and pulled on her bathrobe.

"You know I wish I could. I want to stay here but… I can't."

"I know. I've heard it all before," she muttered angrily, leaving the room.

"What are you doing? You should go back to sleep," said James, pulling on the last of his clothes as he followed her into the hall.

"I need a shower," Lily hissed angrily.

"What now? Lily, it's the middle of the night," said James as if she had gone mad.

"Yes, now! I need a shower, now!" she shouted at him. "Because I feel dirty. I always feel dirty because you just show up here every night, get what you want and then you leave me. So excuse me if I want to try and wash the dirtiness off me."

"Lily, I…"

"I know this is my fault, I'm the whore sleeping with a married man. You're just the married bastard that is lucky enough to find a slut stupid enough to put up with you. So you better go, your wife will be waiting." Then she slammed the bathroom door in his face.

"Lily, you're not…" he tried to shout to her, but she had turned the water on.

He couldn't blame her, and he knew that this wasn't fair on her. But he couldn't bring himself to let her go, she was the only reason he got out of bed every morning. She was the reason he felt alive. She wouldn't wait forever, he knew that. But he couldn't leave Margo, he had no choice but to stay. Even if it did mean he was hurting himself and the woman he loved.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Lily apparated to her flat after her shift at the hospital. She immediately knew James was already there, he must have left work early after her little tantrum earlier. She knew what she was getting into when they started this, but it was still hard. She loved him, she _really_ loved him and she hated having to share him. She hated being the dirty little secret, but she'd rather that than not being with him at all.

She walked into her kitchen and found James setting the table. She could smell something cooking. He was trying to cheer her up, he could be so sweet sometimes. That was why she loved him: he hated it when she was unhappy.

"What is going on here?" she smiled as she dropped her bag on the counter.

"Oh, you're back early… it was meant to be a surprise…" said James crestfallen.

"Are you cooking? I didn't know you could cook," she said, peering into the pots on the cooker.

"My dad always told me that every man should know how to cook at least one decent meal," said James, slipping his arm round her waist.

"Well, it certainly smells lovely," she said, happily melting into his arms. "I'm sorry I lost it a little this morning."

"You were perfectly entitled. I know this is hard on you, and I'm sorry."

"I knew what I was getting into, sometimes it just really hits me that I am sleeping with a married man and… I can't help but think I…"

"You listen to me," said James seriously, turning Lily to face him. "I don't ever want to hear you calling yourself those things again. Do you hear me? Never. Because you are anything but a whore. I'm the bastard here, you have done nothing wrong."

"I have, I am doing something wrong. But I don't care and it doesn't mean I'm going to stop," said Lily, a little taken aback by how serious he was.

"Good, because I don't know what I'm going to do when you get fed up with this," said James, running his finger down her cheek. "You're the only reason I can get through the day. You saved me, and I'm going to be lost when you're not around anymore."

"I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon," said Lily, touched by his words.

"I know, but I also know that one day you're going to leave me. You're going to want someone that you can go out in public with, that you can settle down and have kids with and I know that isn't going to be me. So you're allowed to shout at me, and freak out as long as you still let me stick around," said James, pulling Lily into his arms.

"James… I don't know what…" said Lily, feeling close to tears because she knew he was right. She knew that this couldn't last forever.

"I know, it's okay," he whispered. "Do you know how much I love you?"

She shook her head.

"I love you so much I'm imposing a sex ban." That was the last thing she was expecting to hear.

"What?"

"I don't want you to think that sex is the only reason I'm here. So from now on, no sex."

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes," he said, pulling her into a sweet kiss.

"But we're so good at it."

"We're good at a lot of things," he laughed.

"But you'll still be needing your potion won't you?" said Lily.

Margo and his mother had decided that it was time to have children. So James was taking a contraceptive potion instead of doing the charm. It meant he was firing blanks but there was no way Margo would find out. Lily brought it from the hospital for him.

"Yeah, I will," he sighed. He hated asking her to get it for him, it was hard enough on her without a constant reminder that he had to sleep with his wife.

"Okay, I brought enough for a month. You'll need to take some with you tonight, you're going to the Ministry ball tomorrow night, aren't you?"

"I assume so," said James sadly. That meant he wouldn't get to see her at all tomorrow.

"Me too. Apparently Healers are now classed as Ministry employees and we're all invited," said Lily. "Won't that be fun? Me, your mother and your wife all in the one room? They better have a fully stocked bar."

"Come on, I don't want to talk about all that tonight," said James. "Why don't you go and have a long relaxing bath and I will have dinner on the table by the time you get out?"

"Okay," said Lily.

"Okay then, off you go," he said, kissing the top of her head.

----------------------------------------------------

"I'm beat, I'm going to bed," said Lily, sleepily as she untangled herself from James' arms. They had eaten dinner and then spent the rest of the night talking in front of the fire. "Are you coming?" she asked when she was up and James showed no signs of moving.

"I was serious about the sex ban," he said, sitting up.

"Why? It's not like you can get me pregnant, you're shooting blanks remember," said Lily, deciding that she didn't like the sex ban at all. She leaned in and gave him a soft lingering kiss.

"That is not it and you know it," said James, feeling himself become aroused.

"You really want a sex ban? You can't just cut me off… how about one last time? You know you want to…" said Lily, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

"Right, that's it, you asked for it," said James, reaching out and pinning Lily underneath him.

She squealed in delight. Neither of them noticed that James hadn't taken the potion yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Margo told me you were working late again last night," said Claudia Potter to her son.

They were at the Ministry ball, Margo had just gone to the ladies room. They were standing at the bar while James tried to discreetly look around to see if Lily had arrived yet.

"Yeah, I had a lot of reports to do," said James distractedly, lying had become second nature to him a long time ago.

"That's funny, because my sources tell me you took off early yesterday afternoon. And yet you didn't go home to your wife until four in the morning," said Claudia in a sickly sweet voice.

"I went to a bar," said James as he downed his fire whiskey.

"Don't lie to me. I know what's going on. We don't expect you not to have a mistress. But just be a little more discreet… I'm sure the little trollop will settle for once or twice a week if you pay her enough."

James swallowed his anger down bitterly, of course his mother would have spies in his office. She had people everywhere, all the time watching everyone.

"Leave it," he said.

"You are trying to start a family, you need to be with your wife…"

"Don't remind me," muttered James darkly.

"Pardon? Are you forgetting I am your mother and I have your best interests at heart?"

"Sure you do," James said spitefully, rolling his eyes.

"What has gotten into you?" Claudia asked him, finally dropping her calm tone for a more affronted, offended tone.

"Nothing. Sorry."

"James, I am getting very worried about your behavior. Why don't you take Margo to the villa in Rome?"

"No, I don't think so," said James monotonously.

"That wasn't a request, James," said Claudia sharply. "The week after next, can you get the time off?"

"Yes," he sighed. It was pointless lying to her; she would bribe his boss and he'd still have to go Italy.

--------------------------------------------------

"So how about you give me your number and we can go out sometime?" said the guy that was currently trying to chat Lily up.

He was a nice enough guy: good looking, polite, and he was a healer too. But he just wasn't James, she could barely muster up enough enthusiasm to knock him back.

"I don't think so, I'm seeing someone… sort of," she said. "Sorry."

"I'm not surprised, I guess I just missed my chance," he said kindly as he got up.

"You're a lovely guy…"

"Although if you don't mind me asking, why is this guy letting you sit here alone looking like that?"

"He… uh has to work," Lily lied. Well she couldn't really say he is here, he's just here with his wife.

"He's an idiot if he'd rather be at work than here with a beautiful, intelligent woman."

"He is an idiot," agreed Lily, smiling bitterly.

James was on the opposite end of ballroom, watching grimly as some guy tried to get Lily's number. He didn't have to be able hear to know that, he could tell by their body language. And he wasn't happy, he knew he had no right to be angry at her. But he was jealous. What he wouldn't give to be able to go over and kiss her and tell that guy where to go.

"Well, well, well… if it isn't my favourite redhead who, might I say is looking especially hot tonight..." Lily heard a familiar voice say behind her.

She turned round and saw the handsome face of none other than Sirius Orion Black. She squealed in delight and launched herself into his arms. He laughed and spun her round.

"When did you get back?" she laughed.

Claudia had arranged for Sirius to be transferred to Morocco when he just about managed to convince James to do a runner before the wedding. Claudia had decided he was a bad influence and made him disappear.

"A few days ago," he said, placing her back on the ground. Half the ballroom was now looking at them, James included.

"It's great to have you back," said Lily. She was so happy to see him, she needed someone to talk to that knew James properly. Maybe he could make James see sense. But it was good to have him back, he could always cheer her up. Sirius was like her big brother.

"It's great to be back… well it's not really. Morocco was hot and filled with babes in bikinis. London is cold and filled with hags in ponchos."

"Oi, am I hag?" laughed Lily.

"You're the exception, dear."

-----------------------------------------------

"Would you look at that? I don't even recognize him now," Sirius said disgusted, signaling to where James was posing for pictures with Margo and his mother.

"He looks the same as he did three years ago," said Lily.

"I didn't mean the way he looks, I mean I don't know who he is anymore."

"He's still James," said Lily softly. She knew how much James had been missing Sirius lately. "He's still… he's nearly his old self."

"What do you mean? The last I heard Claudia wouldn't let you breathe in the same room as him," said Sirius suspiciously.

"How did you know about that? When you left, I was already in South America," said Lily, equally suspicious.

"I have my sources," he said mysteriously, raising an eyebrow in an attempt to look seductive.

"Remus and Peter?" she asked, killing his mysterious vibe instantly

"Got it in one."

"So I also have my sources and I heard a little rumor about you…" said Lily slyly.

"That I'm…"

"You are? You're…"

"As bent as a coat hanger, yeah I am," he laughed.

"Wow… you were always such a player," said Lily, completely thrown.

"Yeah it took me a while… but I am definitely queer and damn proud of it."

"Well good for you…I guess I shouldn't read too much into the fact that your hands are on my knees," she teased.

"Your dress is so soft, I love the material," he said in an overly camp way.

"Yeah, sure," she laughed.

"And you avoided my question. What makes you think there is any of Prongs left in that guy over there?" said Sirius.

"I can just tell," said Lily, hoping to avoid the subject.

"You bloody idiot, you still love him," said Sirius, realization dawning on him. "How can you possibly still love him? He let his mother sent you to South America, he's married. You… come on, Lily you're smarter than that."

"I… I didn't say that," said Lily, completely unnerved by how well he had managed to read her.

"You didn't have to," said Sirius incredulously. "He's been married for three years, according to the papers, she's pregnant. You can't still love a cold-hearted robot like him."

"She is not pregnant. James has not been able to get anyone pregnant for months now," said Lily. She knew Sirius would freak but she needed to talk to someone, she had to tell someone.

"Lily," said Sirius seriously. "Tell me everything now!"

--------------------------------------------

"You let go of everything but her."

James was in the men's room standing at the urinal, doing his business when Sirius came out of one of the cubicles.

"Pad… Sirius when did you get back?" asked James. He didn't know what to say to him, Sirius hated him for being such a coward and for not stopping his mother from sending him to Morocco.

"What do you care?"

"Come on…" James started to protest. But what was the point? He had screwed up and lost his best friend, his brother. But nothing had really changed.

"Your whole life is a lie. You're in the papers playing the perfect husband, and all the time you're using Lily and making her think you love her. You found the one person that will put up with anything from you and you're exploiting her. You are one sick bastard."

"I'm not using her. I would never do that to Lily, you know that," said James heatedly.

"You damn well better not hurt her," said Sirius dangerously. "Get some balls and cut the apron strings. You love her, leave your wife like you should have done three years ago!"

"I can't," said James, hanging his head.

"Then I was right," said Sirius, shaking his head disappointedly.

"NO, no you're not. I know I'm being selfish, but I love Lily. I know I should let her go and let her be happy with someone else, but I can't. The only reason I get up in the morning is because I know I'll eventually get to see her. So yeah, I am being selfish but don't you stand there and tell me I don't love her!"

"If you love her, get a divorce," and then Sirius left. But he couldn't help but think maybe Lily was right and there was still some of the old James left. He saw something he hadn't seen in a long time. He should have known that only Lily could have saved him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Are you alright? You've been quiet all week," asked James concerned.

It was a month since the ball. Lily and Sirius had become really close again. Sirius didn't approve of her seeing James, and they both knew it.

"I'm fine," Lily assured him. They were sitting her living room, he was reading the paper and she was reading a magazine. They weren't lying curled up like they usually did, Lily had sat down on the opposite end of the sofa from him.

"You're not fine. Tell me what's wrong!" James sighed.

"It's nothing, just work stuff. Don't worry about it," Lily lied.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No," she said emotionlessly, not looking up from her magazine.

"You can talk to me about anything, you know."

"No I can't," she sighed.

"You can, I mean it. Tell me anything, I'll be fine."

"That guy from the Ball asked me out again today, and I thought about saying yes," she told him honestly, sounding so sad as she did. "Because I'm the dirty little secret and I'm sick of it."

"Lily…" James said cautiously, setting down the paper and scooting closer to her.

"No don't 'Lily' me and don't give me one of your little speeches that make everything all better," she told him angrily, standing up and backing away from him. "The fact is your married and I should never have started this in the first place…"

Lily was cut off by James' watch alarm going off, he had set it to go off early that night because his mother was getting on at him again. James glanced at his watch, hating it with every ounce of his being, then glanced back up at Lily.

"You've got to go," said Lily. She couldn't even have an argument with him, there wasn't enough time.

"I can stay a little longer," said James, taking Lily's hand in his.

"No, you can't. You wouldn't want to upset Mummy Dearest," and then she stormed out, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

"Lily, open the door please!" James asked as he knocked on the bedroom door.

"Just go James," came her muffled reply.

"I'm sorry," he shouted to her, resting his head against the door. No answer. "I love you."

He was just about to go when he heard her. "I love you too."

"I'll come by tomorrow morning before work, I'm sorry."

* * *

A little while after James left, Lily got out of bed. She went into the bathroom opened the bathroom cabinet and pulled out the pregnancy test. She had done earlier, but she hadn't been able to look at the results. Now she had to look.

POSITIVE

* * *

Five minutes later she was banging on the door to Sirius' flat. He eventually came to the door in his boxers, looking very sleepy.

"Did I wake you?" she asked unnecessarily, of course she had woken him.

"Yes. What the hell are you doing here at one in the morning?" he grumbled, opening the door and letting her in the flat.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know who else to come to and I need to… I need someone's help… I've made a bit of a mess…" she babbled.

"What's happened?" Sirius asked, looking concerned. "Did you get caught in the act?"

"I'm pregnant! And I can't tell James!" she blurted out.

"Is it his?" Sirius asked immediately.

"Of course, it is! It's not enough that I'm an adulterous bitch, but now I'm a slut that can't stay faithful to guy she is cheating with?" Lily ranted.

"Calm down, I was just asking. Why can't you tell him, if it's his?" said Sirius, in what he thought was a calming tone, but Lily just found it annoying.

"He's married, he has a wife! I'm the pregnant mistress!" said Lily, even though it was obvious.

"He's going to be a father," Sirius said, trying to calm her down. "You _are_ keeping it, aren't you?"

"Yes I'm keeping it," said Lily as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. It had never even crossed her mind to consider a termination.

"He has a right to know."

"He is never going to leave Margo, we both know that and I don't want to raise my baby in some African desert somewhere. You know Claudia will not let me raise her grandchild where people know, or at all."

"What do you need?" asked Sirius. She was right and if she was going to do this alone, she would need his support. And she was going to get it.

"James can't know that I'm pregnant."

"He will never hear it from me," Sirius assured her.

"And I need to get out of my flat, I can't ever see him anymore," said Lily. To anyone listening to her they would have thought that she had been planning his for weeks, not minutes.

"Okay, we'll go now and clear out your things. You can move in with me," said Sirius assertively.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, come on."

----------------------------------------------------------

When James went to Lily's flat, he found it empty. She had left him a note.

_Dear James,_

_I know this is sudden, and probably a little rude of me. I should be able to do this to your face, but I can't. I know you would be able to talk me out of it, and I can't let you do that. By know you probably know what I'm talking about, since I left this in my empty flat. I can't be your mistress anymore, and I know you can't leave your wife. So I left, and I'm not coming back. You made me happier than anyone else ever has, and I'll always love you for it. But I can't keep doing this. So if we happen to run into each other don't try and talk to me please._

_I'm sorry, but I just can't do it anymore._

_All my love _

_Lily_

She had finally had enough of him. So James sat down in the empty hallway clutching her note and cried like a baby, something he hadn't done since his dad died.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked Lily as he handed her a cup of tea.

It had been 2 months since Lily had moved in with him, neither of them had heard from James. Lily was now 3 months pregnant, and starting to show. She had had terrible morning sickness for a few weeks now.

"A little better," said Lily as she took the cup with a shaking hand. She had just finished retching for Britain.

"Are you sure you're okay to work today?" said Sirius, feeling her clammy forehead.

"I'll be fine after I have a shower. I have my check up this morning anyway," said Lily, grateful to him for being so helpful and concerned.

"I'm sorry I can't come with you. If I could find a way to get time off…"

"I know, it's okay. It's just a check up to make sure the baby is growing normally," said Lily as she fondly rubbed her bump.

"Make sure you show me the sonogram picture."

"I will," said Lily. "I better get ready if I'm going to make it on time."

* * *

"James, will you please go and get dressed? We have an appointment in an hour with Dr. Hobart," said Margo, exasperated. 

"Why? I can do my part right here," grunted James. He was lying on the sofa watching a Quidditch game on the Wizarding channel. He hadn't shaved in weeks and the only time he got off the sofa was to go to work and to get food.

"James…"

"I can wank into a cup just as easily here as at some doctors office," he said gruffly.

"Don't be crude," she snapped. If there was once thing Margo Potter hated more than her husband cheating on her, it was laziness.

"Oh, leave me alone."

"James pull yourself together, we leave in 45 minutes," said Margo in a tone that reminded him of his mother.

"Fine," he snapped, rolling off the sofa. If he was going to the hospital, he might at least catch a glimpse of Lily.

He missed her so much now it hurt, he didn't even have any recent photographs of her. He had an old one from school of her in his desk drawer at work, but it was taken a long time ago. He hated the fact that he could barely remember the way she smelt, the way she felt in his arms, and the sound of her laughter. He hated that the last time he had told her he loved her was through her bedroom door. He didn't even realise the last time he kissed her was the last time, he couldn't savour it and commit it to memory. Most of all he resented Margo more with each day, because it was because of her that he couldn't be with Lily. He knew it wasn't fair on Margo: she loved him, he knew she did. But she loved the money and the power more. Margo didn't do anything to deserve the way he had been treating her lately, she had turned a blind eye to his cheating and put up with his mother. But he just couldn't bear to even look at her without feeling that surge of hatred and resentment.

* * *

"Okay Lily, everything looks really good here," said Dr. Hobart as he wiped the cold gel from Lily's stomach. "Has he started to kick yet?" 

"He?"

"It's too soon to tell medically as I'm sure you know," said Dr. Hobart in a very scientific, clinical tone. "I just don't like referring to babies as 'it'"

"I know. And you know it's too soon for the baby to kick, I've got another few weeks to wait for that."

"It's your first baby, they usually progress quicker," said Dr. Hobart.

"Not this one, I want this one to be normal," said Lily, patting her belly.

"No pregnancy or child is ever normal," said Dr. Hobart, updating Lily's medical records.

"Well then I'll settle for an average pregnancy and a healthy baby."

"And I hope you get it," said Dr. Hobart with a kind smile. "The baby is certainly healthy anyway. Now if you'll excuse me, I have the most god awful couple coming in next. They are having trouble getting pregnant and the Chief is making me do the unnecessary fertility tests."

"Oh lucky you," said Lily sarcastically. She knew Dr. Hobart from working the hospital and all healers hated getting stuck with the rich people that wanted unnecessary medical procedures just because of who they were, and usually got them.

"I know and you know I can't even be a few minutes late for these people. I could be fired," said Dr. Hobart, showing Lily out into the waiting room.

"I think you are exaggerating slightly," Lily laughed.

"You'd be surprised," said Dr Hobart darkly. Then he called out. "Mrs. Margo Potter."

Lily's heart stopped, that meant he was there. She looked up and sure enough there was James. Looking at her. Like he was looking at a ghost.

"I'll see you in four weeks, Lily," said Dr. Hobart.

"Uh… yeah, I'll see you then," said Lily, praying James hadn't worked out what she was doing there.

"Oh, don't forget your sonogram picture. I assume you'll want a copy for the father," said Dr. Hobart. Lily could have punched him.

"Thank you," said Lily, all but snatching the picture from his hand.

Dr. Hobart ushered Margo into the exam room, as Lily practically ran for the stairs. As soon as Margo was out of sight, James dashed after her. He ran into the stairwell and saw Lily racing down the downstairs, James hopped over the railing and landed right in front of her.

"You're pregnant?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"James I meant what I said. Now go away!" said Lily firmly, even though she was shocked that he had just jumped over the banister.

"Lily…" he said. How could she be acting like that? She was pregnant, it could be his. She couldn't tell him to go away. He just wanted to reach out and touch her, to be sure it was actually her.

"No! you don't get to 'Lily' me anymore! And stop looking me at like that, in fact just stop looking at me!" said Lily angrily as she tried to barge past him. He wouldn't let her past.

"Lily, you're…" He placed one of his hands over her stomach and was so overcome with emotion he couldn't finish.

"Don't touch me!" hissed Lily, pushing his hand away.

"Is this why…" James whispered. He ran his finger down her cheek, loving the feeling of her skin against his. "Talk to me, please."

"No, I told you…" said Lily, trying to sound firm and angry while her voice wavered.

James grabbed her wrist and pinned her against the wall. He looked her straight in the eye, and his hand dropped to her stomach again.

"You're pregnant?" he asked, his eyes boring into her brimming over with emotion. He was feeling things he hadn't felt for years and things he hadn't ever felt. Love, an overwhelming surge of love.

"Yes," said Lily, weakly looking into James' eyes.

"Mine?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, regaining some of her strength. She pushed him away, ran down the stairs and out into the street, gasping for fresh air.

James was right behind her. He ran up in front of her and placed his hands on either side of her face.

"You are having my baby," he said passionately, not letting her look away from his face.

"Yes… it doesn't change anything…"

"It changes _everything_," James insisted, looking at her like he was shocked at the way she was acting. "You were going to keep it from me?"

"Yes." She gritted her teeth, forcing her voice to remain level, pushing back the emotions flooding through her.

"How could you not tell me? Lily… it's me… you and me, we…"

"'We'? There is no 'we'! There is a me and then there is a you and your wife! All I used to be was the pregnant mistress, but not anymore! My baby is not going be another one of your dirty secrets and neither am I! So you get to go back to your wife and your life and I get my baby! Our paths need never cross again!" said Lily, trying to sound strong but her eyes were brimming with tears. She had never seen James like this before, his eyes were darker than she had ever seen them.

"No, Lily… just no," said James emotionally. "Never."

"James, I have to go. Someone will see," said Lily, and she was completely right. They were in the middle of Diagon Alley, and one of the most well-known faces in Britain was currently holding onto her.

"I don't care," he said firmly.

"James…" sighed Lily, trying to pull away from his grip, but he still wasn't letting go.

"I love you, I have been nothing but miserable since you left me, I broke your heart and you broke mine. But you are not a dirty little secret, and my baby will never be one either. You are having my baby and you have to let me be around for that. You have to, I don't know what I'll do if I can't…"

"Like it's even up to me!" Lily shouted, wrenching her hand from his grip finally. "The second your mother finds out I'll somehow find myself in outer Mongolia, either that or I'll be deemed an unfit mother and you and Margo will be on the cover of every magazine showing off your little bundle of joy!"

"No, I'm not going to let that happen!" said James forcefully.

"Yeah, you used to say you would never let anyone come between us!" Lily told him, feeling more angry and sad and resentful than she ever had in her life. "But you did!"

"No…" James sighed, thinking at the speed of life, trying to find a solution to this problem. Suddenly a look of realization swept across is face. "Kiss me."

"What?" exclaimed Lily, looking at James as if he had gone mad.

"Right here, in the middle of a crowded street where I can guarantee there is a photographer. Kiss me."

"But…" Lily kept staring at him like he'd lost his mind. What was he thinking, kissing her _here_ of all places?

"It's over Lily, I don't care what they do anymore! We can be strong enough to take whatever they throw at us! But it's your decision, kiss me and all this is over! I'll file for divorce! So please, I'm begging you! Kiss me!" said James forcefully. He dropped his hands from her cheeks and stood in front of her.

Lily stood there, not knowing what to do. She reached up and touched his hair, she tilted her head up hesitantly. She looked like she was about to pull away when James leaned down and captured her lips with his. He poured all the love he was feeling into the kiss, begging her to let him love her.

"What did you just do?" she whispered when he pulled away.

He was right there was definitely a photographer there, she had seen the flash. Everyone had noticed that James Potter was not kissing his wife.

"What I should have done a long time ago," he whispered back, smiling with incandescent happiness.

* * *

Here is a quick update since u were all so nice and left so many reviews for the last chapter KEEP IT UP AND REVIEW!! 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Sirius had managed to get out of work, and arrived outside the hospital just in time to see Lily and James kiss. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a photographer from the Daily Prophet taking pictures and everyone in the street gathering round, and all the while Lily and James seemed completely oblivious to all of this.

"Come on, you need to get out of here," said Sirius under his breath to Lily, taking hold of her arm. He glanced at James coldly. "Follow if you must."

Sirius apparated to just outside his flat with Lily. His flat was protected by the Auror department, so it would take everyone, including Claudia, a while to find out where it was and that Lily was staying with him. Sure enough, James apparated right next to them.

"What the hell was all that?" Sirius asked Lily. He wasn't angry with her; he knew she couldn't help it, but she could have at least been smart about it. She didn't have to make out with him in the middle of the street.

"Uh… I… I'm not sure," said Lily still in a state of shock.

"I'm leaving Margo, I am. Lily is having my baby and I'm hoping she'll take me back and we can be a family," said James calmly, looking straight at Lily, aching to touch her but he feared Sirius would kick his ass if he tried.

"Yeah right," said Sirius harshly.

"I'm serious. I love Lily and I don't care what Margo or my mother does to me anymore," said James, feeling more alive than he had felt in years. He cautiously reached to touch Lily but Sirius blocked him.

"You want to get anywhere near her, you know what you have to do," said Sirius dangerously.

"But…" said James desperately. It had all happened so fast... he just needed to talk to Lily, to hold her.

"No buts. I am not going to let you near her if you're just going to hurt her again. So file for divorce and then…we'll see," said Sirius grimly, leading Lily into the flat.

"But…" said Lily, looking back at James.

"I'm doing this to protect you, if you're right about him, I'll support both of you and help," said Sirius, and they both knew he meant it. If the old James was back, then nobody was happier than he was about it. But he couldn't risk Lily getting her heart broken again, he didn't think she could take it.

"Okay," said Lily quietly. He was looking out for her, she knew that. But it was hard; she had to talk to James and make sure he had been serious.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes, I promise," said James, looking Lily dead in the eye.

"Okay," Lily said breathlessly, watching him take off down the hall with a hopeful smile on her face.

-------------------------------------------------------

Sure enough, twenty minutes later somebody rang Sirius' doorbell. Sirius got up to answer it, Lily followed hovering in the living room doorway. He opened the door and before he could say anything James shoved a pile of papers at him, and walked right over to Lily. He stood in front of her out of breath having run to the ministry and back.

"Can I…?" he asked uncertainly, his hand reaching out to stroke her cheek.

She nodded her head tearfully and in a second she was enveloped in his strong, loving arms. He was stroking her hair, treasuring the feeling of finally holding her again.

"You actually filed for divorce," said Sirius, reading the papers James had flung at him with a surprised smile.

"I said I would," said James, looking down at Lily who had pulled out of his embrace.

"But still… I didn't think you would actually do it," said Sirius, scrutinizing the papers to make sure they were genuine.

"I was completely serious about everything I said before," he said, gazing intently at Lily.

"Um…" said Lily, chewing her bottom lip.

"I know this is going to be hard, but I am going to protect you from as much of it as I can," said James forcefully, holding onto her shoulders.

"I'll… just give you some privacy," mumbled Sirius as he went into his room.

"This will get out and it will get messy, I can promise you that. My family are going to do everything they can to keep us apart, but they wouldn't be able to not if we don't let them. Not if we stick together, and love each other the way I know we do." James hands went from her shoulder to her cheeks again. "I guess I just need to know if you think I'm worth the hassle?"

"You won't let them send me away or take my baby?" asked Lily quietly.

James had never hated himself more than he did in that moment. What sort of person had he become, that woman he loved needed reassurance that she wouldn't be forced out of her home or that he would take their child from her? What had he done?

"I won't, I promise. I am going to be right by your side, raising our baby with you together. If they send you to Mongolia then I'll come with you… but I'm not going to let that happen. I promise you."

"Okay." She didn't look sure.

"Do you believe me?" he asked, holding his breath.

"I believe you love me and you'll love this baby," said Lily slowly. "I believe that you mean what you say. But I also know that your mother has this powerful hold over you and that scares me because you let her drive me and your best friends away. I don't know what she'll do and I don't know how you'll react. I want to think that you'll stand up to her, but nothing in the past has made me think that that is what you'll actually do."

"Will you give me the chance to show you?" said James sadly.

"Yes," Lily whispered, smiling gently. "Of course. I don't think I'll ever really give up on you."

James smiled and pulled her close to him, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I won't let you down," James said, feeling happier than he'd ever felt in his life. "I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

That night Lily and James were watching a show on potion brewing that Lily wanted to see. Sirius had gone out a few hours before, he had just arrived back home.

"You two made the front page, they must have stopped the presses to get this in," said Sirius, flinging the paper to them.

Lily grabbed it and there it was on the front page. It was a great picture of them, even Sirius had to admit it, anyone could see the love in their eyes.

"Oh wow… everyone is going to see that… they are going to know…" said Lily, almost fearfully.

"I filed for divorce hours ago, I can assure you my family already know. I'm betting right at this moment my mother is trying to bribe someone in the Auror department for Sirius' address, because I know she has already been to your old flat and she saw you two together at the ball," said James, putting his arm around Lily's shoulder.

"It's not going to take long for her to find out," said Sirius grimly.

"It's fine, what is the worst she can do?" shrugged James.

"Get me thrown out of healer school," Lily suggested, with a sarcastic smirk on her face.

"Decide I am vital in Morocco," Sirius said in the same fashion as Lily.

"Alright, point taken," said James, holding his hands up. "But not this time. I'm just going to tell her that I've made my decision and that I hope she respects that."

"Yeah and she's just going to let it go," muttered Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"She is not a monster," James protested.

"We beg to differ," said Lily, with a polite dissention in her voice. "You've always been protected from her, but that woman is the devil incarnate. She broke Amelia Bones' wrist because she didn't hem her dress properly."

"No, that was all an accident, she fell down the stairs…" said James, trailing off when he saw the looks he was getting from Sirius and Lily.

"Oh, you're so naive," laughed Lily.

"Oh… well… that's what she told me," said James feebly.

"Don't worry, it's cute," said Lily, ruffling his hair.

"It's sickening," said Sirius, with a look of disgust of his face at the two of them.

"Oh hush," laughed Lily, pulling James' lips down to meet hers.

They were interrupted by a sharp knock at the front door. Claudia was there.

"Uh oh," giggled Lily.

"It's okay," said James soothingly. "I'll get rid of her."

"I need a sweater," Lily blurted out suddenly, jumping off the couch and running to the coat closet.

"Why?" James asked, nonplussed.

"I look pregnant," Lily said, using a 'duh' sort of voice.

"So…?" James said, not catching on.

"Don't tell her, please," begged Lily, pulling on a loose sweater.

"Okay, okay, I won't," said James.

"You need to answer that," said Sirius, nodding towards the door. "Take it into the kitchen, we'll wait in here."

"Okay, I'm going. Love you," said James, getting up and going to answer the door.

* * *

"What is going on in there?" Lily asked for the hundredth time. James and his mother had been in the kitchen for over an hour, and they had cast a silencing charm so Lily and Sirius couldn't hear.

"For the last time, I don't know," sighed Sirius before an idea came to him. "Hey, how are your charms these days?"

"What do you mean?" asked Lily suspiciously.

"You used to be the best in school. I was just wondering if you're still up to scratch."

"Why?"

"To break the silencing charm so we can listen," said Sirius mischievously.

"We can't do that," gasped Lily. "It's an invasion of privacy."

"Don't you want to hear what the witch is saying?"

"But we can't… can we?" said Lily, curiosity getting the better of her. She really did want to know what was going on.

"Yes we can, if you can break the charm," urged Sirius. "Come on over to the dark side, my pretty."

"That is creepy," laughed Lily, grabbing her wand.

"Yes!" he celebrated. "I knew you would do it."

"Oh shut up and come on," said Lily, creeping out of the living room, clutching her wand.

"You know what, I don't think I really want to know what she is saying. They have been in there for over an hour, I don't want to hear her break him," said Lily quietly as she stood looking at the door.

"Come on Lily…" whined Sirius, then he saw her face. She was terrified at what she might hear. "It's alright, you don't have to. It's best to get this over with quickly, either he stays or he goes. It's best to do it now."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm just… going to lie down. Let me know when he leaves."

"He might not, Lils, he might stay," said Sirius, surprising even himself. He was sticking up for James, he never thought he would do that again.

"Yeah and pigs might fly," muttered Lily, going to her room.

* * *

"GET OUT!" roared James, grabbing ahold of his mother wrists and forcing her out of the kitchen and out of the front door. Her indignant protests could be heard down the street.

"Where is… where… Lily…?" he said, his breathing ragged from his rage.

"In her room, she thought you were leaving," said Sirius. "I really didn't think you could do it either."

"Glad I could prove you both wrong," said James wryly.

"Me too," said Sirius, and he found that he actually meant it.

"I have to go and see Lily," said James gratefully.

He turned and walked into Lily's room. At first he thought she wasn't there, but then he saw a little bump on the made bed. He went over and peeked under the covers and there she was lying as straight as an ironing board, looking straight up.

"Lily…" he said as he crawled under the covers next to her.

"You're still here," she said quietly.

"I'm still here," he confirmed.

"Are you staying?"

"I'm staying. I finally did it. I finally stood up to her. I threw my mother out, actually forcefully out," he told her, still hardly daring to believe it himself.

"Seriously?" laughed Lily nervously. She still hadn't moved from her position.

"Seriously," said James, placing his hand on her stomach. "You and the baby are all that matters to me now. I told my mother that today, she doesn't control me or tell me what to do anymore. I love you and I will divorce Margo as soon as humanly possible and she has no say in our relationship."

"Did you tell her about the baby?"

"No, I told you I wouldn't."

"Thank you," said Lily. She turned on her side and faced him. "I guess I'm going to have to get used to having you around then, huh?"

"Yeah you are, because like it or not I'm going to be around a lot," James said softly, kissing Lily on the forehead. "And you know what the best bit is?"

"What?"

"I don't have to sneak out at four in the morning."

"That is good," laughed Lily. "Give me your watch!"

"Why?" asked James, but he still took it off his wrist and handed it to her.

"Just to be sure, this doesn't have any sentimental value, does it? It wasn't the last thing your great, great grandmother gave to you, is it?" asked Lily, taking the watch in her hand.

"No, it's just a watch I bought when my old one broke," shrugged James.

"Good," said Lily, then she lifted her hand out of the covers and threw the watch at the door. "I don't ever want to hear that damn alarm ever again."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi Everyone I know it's been a while since I updated this story.**

**I have found myself with some time on my hands and**

**I would like to use this time to complete some of**

**my stories.**

**So I am putting this up to ask for your help, I seem to have run out of ideas for this story**

**and I would appreciate any ideas or storylines you would like to see **

**written for this story.**

**Please help me finish this story before the new year.**

**XxStephxX**


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